


the sun will rise and we will try again

by turtlenecksandsweaters



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Slight Hurt/Comfort, also when will i ever stop hurting any version of allen?, ugh these boys are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 09:51:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17057564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtlenecksandsweaters/pseuds/turtlenecksandsweaters
Summary: whatever this is can’t be so easily broken (by some war neither of them wanted to fight but one of them had to and the other chose to).





	the sun will rise and we will try again

For all the love in the world he could not give enough of it to Allen.   


  
He lays awake at night, the weight of tan hands heavy on the expanse of a pale back. Softly, almost not there, he memorises this moment; how it felt to have Allen curled beneath his chin, the warmth of his human body against Neah’s own. It’s a selfish sort of pleasure, he supposes. 

  
  
Allen’s hair is undone from that messy style he likes to call  _ work appropriate _ , and Neah doesn’t mind at all how it tickles his forearm and chest. If he could stay like this forever, he’d do anything. But morning must come, a new sun will rise, and they will try again.

  
  
Unconsciously, almost periodically, the blunt nails attached to young, war-thorough hands find the welt of skin on a broad shoulder, the dull reminder of what Neah tricks himself into  _ believing _ is the closest Allen’s ever come to death. He knows that’s not true and still the pain in his heart is real and he’s reminded of the fear he felt when he begged Bookman to help Allen - to  _ save _ Allen.

 

It’s not the ugliest scar either of them have, nor the deepest by far, but the memories of that day still shake Neah’s whole body.

 

He sighs, and remembers promises he can’t keep but intend to fulfill regardless.

 

_ Don’t die, Neah _ .

 

Neah remembers laughing, because  _ of course he wouldn’t die  _ and then seeing the red head’s face and reconsidering; hurt and genuine fear swimming behind silver eyes reaching a place in Neah’s heart he wasn’t even aware Allen had taken ahold of until that moment -when (where) he’s laying in Neah’s bed bloody and bruised. Neah remembers nodding, shoulders stiff and suddenly he’s finally taking this seriously when he reaches to grab Allen’s bandaged hand and  _ I won’t die, I promise. _

 

He’s almost too caught up in his memories to notice Allen stirring awake below him, but he does, and his mind snaps back to reality in that dark, unfamiliar room they temporarily called theirs now.

 

Neah frowns, thinking he’s woken Allen  _ somehow  _ through his inner musings. His russet hair covers half of his face when he props himself up to look at Neah fully, light silver eyes adjusting to the dark of the room to meet chestnut orbs. Both of them are silent, and Allen furrows his brows at the clearly, (very) wide awake Noah in bed with him.

 

“Have you slept at all?”

 

Neah stares back in that cat-like, curious way he seemed to always have nights like this. A smile to match crosses his features, close mouthed and wide.

 

“Not a wink.”

 

Allen frowns, one eyebrow lifting in some part curiosity and some part exasperation, his eyes rolling almost audibly in his skull. Neah’s chest fills with something he won’t try to name, and he throws his arms around Allen’s shoulders and pulls him back down uncomfortably so the britt’s freckled nose is pressed against a tan shoulder and he has to struggle to adjust to a more comfortable position. “What the  _ fuck, Neah _ -”

 

Neah doesn’t respond, instead again pulling Allen against him and resting his head on the crown of Allen’s, the older’s body practically on top of the Noah. A wave of unruly quiet passes without disruption between the two, nothing but the early morning birds chirping filling the languish silence. 

 

Allen lets out a deep breath he had been holding in stubbornly, finally giving up in his silent pursuit to meet eyes with Neah again. 

 

Neah thinks,  _ tomorrow might be the day  _ and pushes it away, pushes away the offer Allen had given him so many times before, what Cross had promised too; he pushes it all away and closes his eyes. He thinks not  _ how could I?  _ and instead  _ I won’t let that happen.  _ He won’t.

 

He doesn’t say it out loud, but they both know that whatever  _ this  _ is, it can’t be so easily broken (by some war neither of them wanted to fight but one of them  _ had _ to and the other  _ chose  _ to).

  
  
  


The sun rises anew, and they try again.

**Author's Note:**

> big yikes i didnt proof read this or have a beta for it at all but. here. :)


End file.
